7th of February 2017 17:00, day 773
I'm going to be a father

It's pretty amazing. We are going to have a son. It'll be the continuation of the adventure we've been sharing for nearly ten years now and I can't wait to see where it takes us.

I find myself idly browsing breast pumps, towels, diapers, strollers, car seats, socket protectors and baby alarms.

Yesterday was the second time we went to the parenting group. We got the chance to discuss the worst and best thing about having a child.

It was an interesting opportunity to reflect on hopes and anxiety and fear and what it means to be a good father.

I know I'll be able to take care of my child. My biggest fear is that I'm not able to support Camilla to the extent she needs me to or that our relationship will be hurt somehow.

My confidence in this was challenged when the rest of the guys in the group had the same biggest fears in common: deformity or death and the inability to be a good father. I still feel the same way; if our boy is handicapped or dies we will have to tackle that the best way we can. Worrying about those things does nothing good for anyone. Being a bad parent seems to have a lot to do with misinformation and bad prioritization. That's not a problem for me.

I'm so anxious to meet my boy.